Behind the Song: Portraits
Welcome, Plague Rat! As in the previous post, if anything here looks familiar, that’s because bits of this article first appeared in an Asylum Newsletter on 1/25/22, and I’m sharing it in this new blog space for those who never got to read it.
Let’s begin, class!
Today’s Behind The Song features none other than the song that I have waited years to share with you, the song that contains the most famous (and re-quoted across the internet for years) line from the Asylum book, the song sung in the Asylum Musical by the only male character with a shred of morality in the entire story, the beautiful and beautifully ill-fated Thomson, it’s…“Portraits.”
Allow me to redact that last: All of the Rats in the story/show are male or androgynous at the very least, and don't ask me why—that was my subconscious at work, and, besides, I didn't write it—it simply, as is the case with anything of decent quality I produce, “happened,” and it is my literal job to go with it.
Now, “Portraits” is the second most gorgeous ballad in the show (the first most gorgeous you haven't heard yet, but soon you shall, provided that I can figure out how to hit the highest note ever sung in a musical—give me a moment).
If you haven't yet heard the song, then who are you, and also you can find links to listen on various platforms below:
“Portraits” is W14BB's favorite...which means a lot to be honest...because this song was meant for boys to sing, and for boys to love. Confession: My secret goal with this song was to create a gift for my boys—a contribution, at the very least, to the audition repertoire of all the musical theatre chaps slogging it out to be heard and win their chance at a life on the boards.
Sure, I’m romanticizing it all, but that's just what Thomson would have done, wouldn't he? And I think the visualization of nervous lads handing the sheet music for this tune to an exhausted accompanist they've never met in a stark, cold audition room somewhere in Manhattan (too much?) had as much to do with the crafting of the piece as did the actual story that this song is a critical part of.
In any case, let's talk about the actual writing of the thing, with a focus on the character. (I’d personally like to talk about my use of the triangle, specifically how I layered the glockenspiel and celeste and used the triangle for accents, but I suspect you’d find the character breakdown more engaging. If I’m wrong, I’ll be back with round two.)
Anyhow, Thomson has quite a task here, doesn't he? I mean, he's got to be naive but not pathetic, idealistic but not too utterly witless, and he's got to make Emily believe in his cause and feel hope, for a moment at least (before it all goes so terribly wrong and she finds true love amongst her fellow Inmates instead, but that's all by the by).
So, how is this high-baritone going to pull it off? (Sorry you've got to hear me do the part for now, but if you want to picture a young Michael Ball in my place you are quite welcome.)
The kid's got to mean it. He really has to believe that, if people see the reality of a situation and not just the filtered selfie version, they might actually give a damn and do something. He knows that most people are completely stuck in their egoic minds, consumed by their self-aggrandizing identities until they don't even know who they are anymore, but he believes that the eradication of ignorance can change almost anyone. I don't think he's right, but I also don't think he's wrong. Can one make a person, as Thomson sings, "see"?
Can one make something so beautiful, so honest, that any bigotry in a person can be dissolved leaving only their inherent light? I'm not sure. But I have to try.
The page below is from my actual libretto for the musical, for your eyes only—this has never been shown publicly. Oh, and keep in mind that this comes straight after “Very Strange.”
I’ll pop this vid here in case you’d like to read/sing along without having to leave this page.
There! And now, I'll let you in on how I got to the above through the usage of my ultimate, never-fail, No.1 Writing Secret:
Find The Pain
(a.k.a. Secret Diary)
I write most often sitting in bed, and that was the case with “Portraits.” In fact, I wrote it all in one go, because, quite quickly (Thomson is rather...uncomplicated), I found the pain.
Thomson desperately wants to change the world, but he feels stifled by what others want from him (anyone relate?). This is his “pain.”
Fun fact:
In a victorious character, their pain is what makes them a hero in the end. But in a tragic character like Thomson, or even a character who fails, like Stockill, their pain is what destroys them.
Thusly, Thomson is so eager for an opportunity to make people “see” through his photographs that he himself becomes blind. He is blissfully (ridiculously) unaware of the truth of what he is being asked to do in the Asylum, and so he unwittingly contributes to the evil and loses the person he loves forever.
How did I find the pain that let Thomson’s truth be understood in just a very few, very simple words? (“Portraits” is one of the shortest songs in the show, and by far the least lyrically dense.)
Here’s how: I'll have the character (Thomson in this case, but I've done the same with many others) write a diary entry to themselves about their deepest desires and fears, something they think no one else will ever read (haha, if they only knew).
It can be quite shocking what your characters will reveal when they think no one's looking.
Then, I'll have a tea break, come back to my notebook, and pick out the bits that genuinely ring true, as well as the ones that I think will “sing well.” These will become my anchors. I will also scan the page for hidden, unintentional rhymes because it's incredible how lucky you can often get. After that, all I need to do is flesh it out, fill in the blanks, but it's almost easy once I know exactly what that character wants and how they feel not having what they want. (And why would anyone need to do something so outlandish as burst out in song if they already had what they wanted?)
I've used this technique to what I'd like to think is reasonable success with Dr. Stockill in his song “Nothing.” It saved me, really, because, while I'm fortunate not to experience a creative blockage very often, Stockill is just so bloody repressed that it was taking ages to get the truth out of him in what I knew needed to be his “this is what I'm all about” song, and if the audience didn't get some truth, he'd be just another stock (pun), one-note, take-over-the-world villain. Stockill is a lot more than that, but how to let the audience know, and why should they care?
So, I sat up with the Doctor one night, gave him a blank red notebook and a pen, closed my eyes, and just let him write as long as he wanted. When I looked down, I saw that he had written about his sister, and that every time he killed an Inmate, he thought of her. That's where the pinnacle of the song came from, the dark destination the whole thing is racing toward (“but every time I close my eyes I'm thinking only of the first one”). This leads us to the punchline of the song, but I'll save that for another Behind the Music, when I'll share my techniques Find The Punchline and Write Backward amongst others...
I hope these ramblings were useful to you if you're a writer, or perhaps entertaining if you aren't. I believe we are all storytellers though, and that character building is for everyone, because character = story.
Even a daydream can be improved upon by a deep understanding of story.
Most of all, I hope you love Thomson and his dream as much as I do. You know...I think he might be right about a few things after all.
Thank you for listening, please enjoy the music, please share it with someone you hold dear, and I desperately hope that I have done the quote you know and love justice in your precious ears.
I hope it is everything you hoped for.
This one’s for all the terribly real things in terribly false worlds.
You’re safe here, in the Asylum, always.
*Note: I don’t know who took the photo at the top of this post, but whoever did is marvelous and I thank them. It’s obviously not of “Portraits,” but the emotion fits perfectly with the song’s line, “Then they’ll want to help…then they’ll want to heal…I can make it real.”